50! (Woohoo!): Feeling all grown up-y

Do you ever have those moments where you realize you are no longer a kid?

I mean the kind of moment that sort of hits you square in the nose and says, "Look at your life! You have grown up, my friend." And then you think, "Gosh. I really have!" And then you feel good about yourself.

That happened to me tonight.

We went to the Higbees for a BBQ (despite the rain) tonight. We ended up eating inside (stinkin' rain) sitting around their dining room table, chatting and laughing while the kids (9 in total including babies) ate at their own table and then ran around the house in various levels of chaos. It was a good time.

I was really enjoying myself and my bratwurst when Owyn walked past me pushing a teddy bear in a stroller. She was so cute and I thought, "She is going to be such a good mommy some day." Then, I had a quick chain of thoughts starting with, "My mom probably used to think that about me" and ending with "I've come full circle! How did that happen?" It came with a realization that I have reached this level in my life that I used to dream about as a child and it is better than I ever imagined. I like being an adult, even with all its responsibilities and stresses. It comes with so much fun and knowledge!

Don't get me wrong, I still feel like a kid most of the time as I bumble my way through life and experiences. But, I suppose that is the point. There will always be something to learn and something new to experience. Spiritually speaking, I am a kid with a huge world of possibilities ahead of me. So, when I have these, "gosh, I'm a grown up" moments, perhaps I am just feeling the sense of accomplishment that comes from learning. And, I like to think that I am feeling Heavenly Father's joy as I allow him to guide me.

I don't know if I'm making much sense, so I'm going to stop. I'm running low on sleep. I have to end, though, just by saying: I love my life and I am happy to keep living and learning!